Fifteen years ago I was just getting ready to wrap up my first semester of paramedic class. We started in January and ran straight through to December with most of our summer dedicated to ACLS. My teacher, Gary Childs, was tough on us through the first five months, but once we started getting it, we looked at it less as him being critical and more so of him challenging us. Many pushed to get in his practical station first and as CJ Bartone, one of my classmates often said, “If you want the bull, you’ve got to take it by the horns!”
Through the first two semesters of class, I started a list of what would go on to be known as GAC’isms. G.A.C. were Gary’s initials, and that is what he put on any check sheet a student might have when they went walking out of class. This list comprises some of the more common statements he made in class as well as some of the more noteworthy and less frequent ones. Many of my readers might not completely understand this but I feel like there are many out there that have encountered Gary, either as one of their head instructors at Springfield College, or as a lecturer in some other CEU class. Enjoy!
1. Then we’re going to turn around…
2. Does this sound like…
3. Do you see where we’re going with this?
4. You’ve got to make the soup.
5. Do you need to know if you’re putting the sugar in the bath tub or in Island Pond?
6. Chase the lion or be chased by the lion.
7. Chase the PVTA bus or be chased by the PVTA bus.
8. Palpate, auscoltate and inspect.
9. A P-Wave…
10. Harley’s going to do his ET(O2)IVMONITOR…
11. That’s a snowball thrown at the police cruiser.
12. Eating the Lion and celebrating eating the lion.
13. The TV set doesn’t know what the cable company is.
14. I want to watch Sipowitz on NBC.
15. We’re hitting the ground running.
16. Its all coming together now.
17. You’ve paid the cable bill.
18. Does this patient need to go to Cooley Dic or the Baystate?
19. (4/23/99) Now in July…..
20. Suction in or Suction out?
21. Ron, turn that back 3 slides.
22. That would never happen, would it?
23. August is the time when we get married, get divorced go on vacation and have our mental break down.
24. Boom Boom.
25. Danger, Danger, Will Robinson.
26. You’ve got to fill the tank first.
27. Half the clock, that’s 30 drops a minute.
28. We’re putting a card in your back pocket.
29. Or, you could put it in the butt.
30. So how will this effect the Fick Principle?
31. Up and down is “Yes” Sid e to Side is “No” (pawing the floor) this is “I don’t understand.”
33. Fast or slowhe’sdead.
34. You want to block the gas pedal.
35. Lets start rounding them up.
36. That’s where we’re going with this.
37. Rip the tape.
38. Make the soup.
39. If the DOT says the sky is Red, the what color’s the sky?
40. That’s the mistake Johnny and Roy used to make.
41. Clear the decks!
42. They don’t feel like a wet kitten in a corner anymore. They start to feel halfway decent.
43. I’m starting to see light bulbs.
44. That’s a lot of IHHHHHHEH when you’re in a bathtub.
45. These people are hit on the head on a pretty regular basis.
46. That’s something you might see again.
47. Some people are like Christopher Reeves.
48. Are they more bad then good or more good then bad?
49. Nobody’s dead until they’re warm and dead.
50. Johnny gets into Gramp’s Verapamil.
51. Is Hoppy safe?
52. They’re not dead until they have five holes in them.
53. All roads lead to cardioversion.
54. So we’re going to put oxygen on them. BRIAN. So what are you going to do next? BRIAN. That looks like a PEA. BRIAN.*
* – Note: the word BRIAN can be added to any sentence mentioned above and be considered its own Gacism.